This is to tell you about 'Maternal Desire' by Daphne du Marneffe.
The book has been next to my bed for about two years now. While I was pregnant I found this book to be the most useful in helping me think about the type of mum I wanted to be.
There's no single best way to be a mother. What I liked about this book is the way it placed the desire to mother, nuture, and care for a child right alongside a clear sense of self.
Since having Ellie, I've continued to find it helpful in the way is discusses the role of fathers. When she discusses dealing with boredom and frustration, I don't feel she's saying there's a right way to deal with these things but she does encourage taking time to consider what drives and causes these feelings.