Our Saturday night out was briefly placed in jeopardy when Peaches became distraught in front of the babysitter. Despite being in a thoroughly good mood for the whole day, things fell apart when I checked the TV schedules to see what films would be on to keep the babysitter amused until our return.
Since Orlando Bloom is almost a local around these parts, Elizabethtown seemed a good choice. The film would start in ten minutes and I switched channels so that all the sitter would have to do is turn the telly on.
Peaches caught sight of the final minutes of Project X. In a breathtaking piece of miscasting, Matthew Broderick is a genius scientist who has to deal with a rogue chimpanzee which is flying a plane.
'It's a monkey, it's a monkey!' shrieked Peaches as she danced around the room. With the TV on mute, she was desperate for the volume to be turned up.
I told her we were talking and that she could watch the pictures instead. She shouted again, 'I can't hear it. It's a monkey, it's a monkey.'
By now the monkey had not only landed the plane, but had taken off again. It was kind of compelling and while I had some sympathy with Peaches - I turned it off so that everyone could think.
I know, I know. You are thinking let her watch the final ten minutes and don't be so stuffy. And don't even start on the fact that I missed that teaching opportunity to explain that a chimpanzee is not a monkey.
Needless to say, we couldn't really continue talking and thinking because Peaches shouted even louder, 'I WANT MONKEY FILM'. Tears ran down her face.
After tears, cuddles, milk and a couple of books she calmed down enough for us to leave her with the sitter.
In itself, this wasn't the worst of meltdowns. We got our night out and Peaches did got to sleep (eventually...) But I thought the very least that I could do is warn you that there is a film out there with Matthew Broderick and a plane-flying chimp and if that's not a disaster, then I don't know what is.